That title's from All Black, a song from Good Charlotte, and I've taken to listening to it a lot lately, just 'cause it's a good song. It's currently #5 on my Songs of the Moment list. I also have a remix version as well. I figured it was a good line, because lately the night seems to be more in my company than usual. My schedule's going to be all fucked up when I go back to school...
But anyway, I was going to wait to post my rant about Jeff Dunham until I woke up, but you can't wake up unless you go to sleep, and I'm obviously awake for a while. I just watched some Doogie Howser, M.D. off of Hulu to pass some time, and before that I read the first few chapters in Eclipse, the third installment in the Twilight Saga. I finished off New Moon on the car ride to Kansas City, so woo-hoo!
When we got to Kansas City, it was still early afternoon, so we hit Nebraska Furniture Mart, which is like, the biggest store EVER! It has practically everything you could want. Bedroom furniture, kitchen furniture, computers, games, movies, cameras, televisions, sound systems. I think they're even maps you can pick up near the entrance. Maps! For a store!! It covers a massive ground space, AND it's two stories high. Even though we've made several trips to Nebraska Furniture Mart, I just can't get over how enormous it is!!
Question though: Nebraska Furniture Mart. In Kansas? Wouldn't it be the Kansas Furniture Mart?
Next, we went to browse Cabela's, which is like a hunting, outdoorsy place. It has epic displays of animals set up. There's the giant mountain centerpiece that's nearly two stories high, with dozens of varied wildlife that one might hunt, such as mountain goats, elk, wolves (sadness), prairie dogs (that's a damn good shot), and even... polar bears? Yep. Polar bears. Then there's also the African display, with lions and elephants, alligators, zebras. And there's also a gallery purely devoted to the deer.
After that, we went to eat. I can't remember the name of the place, but oh how I will remember the meal. I had some delicious chicken, on special. Oh, from the first bite I was in love. I wasn't as hungry as the serving size of the plate, but there was no way I was going to leave any piece of that delicious cheesy chicken over rice with the heavenly sauce on that plate.
Our next stop was to locate a sporting goods store, in search of a bike rack to add to my Jeep, as part of a bonus, unreceived Christmas present from my parents. The store we found turned out to only be like, clothes and stuff, so we just bypassed it and headed for the stadium.
Around 6:45pm we awaited entrance to the stadium, a crowd of people standing in the cold and snow. Finally at 7pm the doors opened and, in usual crowd fashion, everyone tried to squeeze inside as quickly as possible. We found our seats easily enough, pretty far up, but they had a pretty good screen set up to see Jeff and friends. So since it was only about 7-ish, and the show didn't start until around 8pm, I went out to locate souvenirs, and around, oh, half hour later I returned with an Achmed shirt for me (I keel you!) and a Walter shirt for my dad (Shut the hell up!). Then we sat, and mostly googled things on my iPhone.
Shortly after 8pm, the show began, with the opening act being Brian Haner, aka Guitar Guy! He came out, played some guitar while telling jokes and about his life (like, he's the father of one of the members of Avenged Sevenfold; I did not know that). I wasn't aware he was that funny, because he never talks when playing sidekick to Jeff onstage, but he's hilarious too. I'm thinking about downloading his musical comedy CD off iTunes...
After Guitar Guy finished, it was a 15 minute break before Jeff was up to bat. The show stared with a video of Achmed played on screen, addressing the "infidels" in the audience in a serious manner. That is, of course, until Bubba J, Peanut, and Walter all barged in and eventually Achmed exploded thanks to a bomb, of course... And then Jeff came onstage! I wish my camera was more awesome, but from our distance, I didn't get many good shots or videos, so that's kinda annoying. But still, I was there. Awesome!
He opened with Walter, as usual. Some jokes were new, but most were ones heard before, but still funny! Especially when he adjusted jokes to make them relevant to either Kansas City or just to change 'em up. For instance, "badonkadonk chick" from the Christmas special was, in this case, "porno chick." Oh, how awesome it would've been to sit up front. So, Walter did his spiel, then next, my favorite: Achmed! It was a lot of similar material, but again, still funny. I was disappointed, but also thought it was a great change-up, that he didn't use the poliosis joke. Well, he did, but instead of poliosis, Achmed was distraught over his "lack of boner-ness" or LOB, as he called it. More like LOL! Ha! Following Achmed was Peanut, who was later assisted by Jose (the Jalepeno on a Stick), and then finished by assisting Jeff in a reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. But then, when we thought it was all over, Dunham made an encore by bringing out Bubba J. He said it'd been a while since he'd used him in his act, so he needed his cheat sheet. Eventually, he heard people saying Bubba's lines in the crowd and was like, "Well, maybe the crowd can help you with the jokes" and then on the next one, the stadium rumbled as people responded together with Bubba's line. Awkward pause by Jeff, followed by next joke, which again was met with a rumble'd quote from the crowd. Bubba J made a comment about how it was like a really awkward version of church, and Jeff eventually said, "This is officially the weirdest show we've done in a while." He probably says that to all the crowds, but I'll take it as a win.
To end the night, we brought out his t-shirt cannons and shot some into the crowds as we filed out and went to our cars. I hope we didn't miss out on autograph signings or something, though, 'cause that would've been sweet!
Well, that about wraps it up, and I'm still feeling awake, just a little bit heavy on the eyelids. I'll probably watch some DVR, as I'm still behind on the final 2 episodes of this seasons Heroes (le gasp). I did toy around with the option of just going in to work to clean up since nothing's going on anyway, but I can't, because I realized the Jeep is in the garage, and blocking it in is Mom's car... Oh well.
Until my next adventure...
SILENCE! I keel you.
Aww. I'm so jealous.
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